Yes, sometimes it seems there are as many words for measures of beer as there are cases of cirrhosis. A firkin is a quarter barrel and a kilderkin is a half barrel, but I can't seem to find out how much a firkin homerkin is!
Perhaps it is that indeterminate, tiny measure quoted during a hangover. 'How much did I drink? Oh, just a homerkin or so.' For Mr Simpson, though, that would mean about two barrels. The only measure of beer universally understood in Australia is 'anothery'. LOCAL USAGE GIVING YOU THE HEEBY-JEEBIES? PETER THE PROOFER IS HERE FOR YOU!
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No, the fish have not formed a band.
Noisome means on the nose, not in the ear. From Late Middle English (noy- annoy). WORRIED YOU CAN'T FOLLOW LATE MIDDLE ENGLISH? PETER THE PROOFER WILL MAKE IT MAKE SENSE! Flocculate means clumping together, from the Latin for a little bit of something. Deflocculate is the opposite. In chemistry, to disperse a solid into a colloid or suspension. For the rest of us, to break a large mass into little pieces.
The sort of thing which happens 24/7 in the big political parties. They need to flocculate, flocculate, flocculate to survive! ANGSTING OVER ENGLISH? PETER THE PROOFER CAN FIX THAT! Well, no, it ain't.
The currently accredited longest word in English is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovulcanoconiosis. This is a horrible dust disease of the lungs caused by exposure to volcanic debris. Often goes unnoticed, as entombment and mummification will follow in short order if you're too close to that old crater. The internet proclaims it to be the longest in English, which is the first whiff that it's bullshit. Secondly, it's not bloody English, it's mainly Greek with bits of Latin thrown in for reinforcement. Like a very fine Pompeiian terrazzo floor. The former contender, floccinaucinihilipilification, admittedly also suffered this problem, as do many English words. It's all very well for words meaning horrible diseases to be foreign or ancient, because ancient foreigners taught us all that stuff, but it's my view that in an age of resurgent nationalism English ought to disallow for top honours any made-up, foreign, bloody silly, gigantic portmanteau words. For gods' sake, we're not speaking German or Welsh! That leaves antidisestablishmentarianism, and it's a solid choice which weds the English to their God, Queen, and Country. FLUMMOXED BY THE FICKLENESS OF ENGLISH PETER THE PROOFER IS HERE! From the Greek, a fear of virgins.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself! DO YOU FIND ENGLISH AS TRICKY AS THE ENGLISH ARE? IS IT ALL GREEK TO YOU? PETER THE PROOFER WILL FIX EVERYTHING! A calamist is a piper, so no calamity involved unless the piper is three years old.
From the Latin 'calamus' (reed). PERPLEXED BY DEAD LANGUAGES IN ENGLISH USAGE? PETER THE PIPER, AH SORRY, PETER THE PROOFER, WILL COMMUNE WITH THE DEAD! Well, it jumped out in front of my car Your Honour!
Macropicide is the killing of kangaroos. From the Greek 'macropus' (big foot, kangaroo). Do not mention this to Americans. It upsets them, and they would like harsher penalties for macropicide. It's good to see our very own Bigfoot attracts international solidarity! FRAZZLED BY FINE POINTS OF ENGLISH? PETER THE PROOFER WILL SAVE YOU! A zebrinny is the offspring of a stallion and a zebra mare. A very rare hybrid. Usually only males survive, but they are infertile, like mules.
Other zebroids, or zebra hybrids with members of the Horse Family, include the zorse, zebonkey, zonkey, zebronkey, zebrula, zebrass, zedonk, zebadonk, horbra, hebra, and zebret. Who knew zebras were so promiscuous? From Ass to Zebra, things are not black and white! PERPLEXED BY PROBLEMS OF PROLIXITY? PETER THE PROOFER CAN FIX THOSE! Iceblink is a white glare on the underside of low clouds, reflected up from ice on the horizon.
This phenomenon has been used by Inuit hunters to navigate since time immemorial. We westerners picked it up from them in the nineteenth century. Away from the Poles and the Inuit, icebling is more popular, tangible, and navigable. Kim Kardashian in Paris, that sort of thing. BEMUSED BY THE VARIETY OF VOCABULARY? PETER THE PROOFER CAN FIX THAT! A gablock, or gavelock, is a spur or blade attached to a fighting cock's ankle. From 'gaff', Middle English for hook.
Talk about adding injury to insult. WORRIED ABOUT THE WEIRDNESS OF WORDS? PETER THE PROOFER CAN FIX ANYTHING! |
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December 2017
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