Look, I Would Help You Lift That, But I Have a Medical Certificate for Algophobia

Yes, I suffer from a rare and debilitating disorder, the fear of pain.

The doctor said I should just remain in bed.

I would say 'from the Greek', only I don't think we can blame that Homeric people!

DO PEOPLE PERPLEX YOU WITH STRANGE WORDS?
PETER THE PROOFER WILL WAGE PERMANENT REVOLUTION AGAINST PERPLEXITY!