You may have thought I would stop firkin around now.
You were wrong! I have looked deep into beer barrels and they have looked back at me. The big one is the tun, which is 216 gallons or two butts, the butt being two hogsheads, the barrel being two-thirds of a hogshead or two kilderkins, the kilderkin being half a barrel or two firkins, and the pin being half a firkin or four and a half gallons. The kempkin and kinkin are also little kegs or barrels, of indeterminate volume but cute name.
Got that? Don't even consider that the measures might all be slightly different if there is wine in those butts, because they are!
So, off your butts and into the firkin hogsheads!
TERRIFIED BY MEDIEVAL USAGE?
PETER THE PROOFER WILL COVER YOUR BUTT!