Don't Mix Up Nuptial, Connubial, and Conjugal

Now that marriage is the In Thing, let's keep a few things straight.

Your nuptials are the ceremony- you know, the party where you released doves into an unfamiliar habitat and balloons containing Earth's last bit of helium into the dinner of a Canadian goose.

Connubial is the adjective applied to the bliss or agony, or the love or hate, or indeed anything else, of marriage. Often used quaintly by drunk uncles in blue jokes.

Conjugal is the sterner, more legalistic, adjective applied to the married state. A husband used to be able to forcibly get his 'conjugal rights' if he was violent enough. Now conjugal rights are mainly the rights to pay the mortgage and mow the lawn.

CONFUSED BY CHOICE IN AN AGE OF CONSUMPTION?
PETER THE PROOFER WILL NARROW YOU DOWN!